The small coyote was pious. The town had a coyote problem. The coyotes would eat the small dogs and cats in the area. The people in the town reasoned that it wouldn't be long before a coyote killed a child. The coyotes did not kill alpacas. If alpacas saw a coyote, then, as a group, the alpacas would confront the coyote. The town held meetings to discuss what they should do about the coyotes. In the end, despite opposition, they voted to bring in a coyote hunter. The opposition said that if they were to put pressure on the coyotes by hunting them, then the female coyotes would give birth to larger litters.
Yes, larger litters were tied to kite strings. One cousin taught his much younger deaf cousin how to build a model rocket. They launched the rocket at the end of the day. Now is the line fatter or thinner? Is it longer or shorter? Till when will you hold your breath? Don't you know that you shouldn't allow your children to drink seawater? But my child drinks just a cup. He has a mania. He is a separatist. The child can't help but to go to the shore, get a cup of seawater, and drink it. We have to make sure that he drinks many glasses of water after that. Don't you worry he'll ingest the new disease? The new disease was perched on top of a plastic tube, which was developed by some alligators that didn't know the difference between market share value and the last donut. The injury was a charley horse. It was a mouse. The punch was a rabbit punch? How does the cow eat corn?
Would you like to run over the chauffeur? Is that grotesque? He was 6' 7" and worked as a chauffeur to famous people--often famous athletes.
In each hole, he put a kernel of corn, a lima bean, and a dead fish. This was to make succotash. That's all you need to eat: succotash. You can live off that and that alone. Each one. That was what he put in each hole. Though he planted no squash, his garden was full of squash. At first, he thought maybe his neighbor had done this. His neighbor had sneaked into his garden and planted squash. Then, though, he remembered that he had composted some squash, so maybe some seeds had survived the composting. To punish his son, he made his son lie under some squash plants. He told his son that his son couldn't move until a squash plant sent a tendril around him.
He was tall--6'7" and drove a car. He was a chauffeur. He wore a black suit, a black tie, and a black hat with a visor. You knew when he got off work, because he loosened his tie, undid his belt, and pushed his hat onto the back of his head. He had driven for famous athletes--for basketball players and football players. For boxers. He was tall. His son was tall. His son was just 17 and was already 6'7" like his dad. His son played basketball and water polo. He was a goalie on the water polo team. He played in the Olympics. He told his son that he'd give him $100 dollars when he beat him at basketball. His greatest weapon was his big ass. He used it to create space. He created space with his big ass--the ass he sat on when he drove athletes around.
In his kitchen, he confronted his death. In his attic, he confronted his fame, his success. On his staircase, he stepped on a Lego and nearly died. He nearly dired. It was that dire. It was an island. The island came out of the sea. Birds lived on it. There were tubers to eat--and fish. They made hats out of fronds. They made clothes out of hibiscus fibers. Many of them wanted to die. There was a chamber under a reef that they would swim into. All you had to do was swim in and get someone to pile rocks. They would walk on the bottom of the ocean by holding cannon balls. See how far they could go. Have you ever seen someone turn blue because he's holding his breath underwater?
After a long day, he could smell his feet. He could smell his upper lip. He could smell his groin. He wondered what his body would look like if he were to season it in water, chillies, hope, rockets, smearing salad bowls with garlic because he doesn't want anyone to know that, when he was younger, he couldn't make change with cardboard quarters, dimes, pennies. They were playing tiddly winks. They were playing UNO and waiting to find out if their mother was going to die. They played backgammon. They played backgammon by a public golf course. Their father was a terrible golfer. He told them that, to play, all they needed was a putter, a 9 iron, and some kind of driver. They needed gloves. They bought used hockey sticks and gloves. They put the marbles in their mouths. They put the agates in their mouths.
The children beg their father for agate and amethyst crystals. They are in a store full of crystals. There are large geodes and piles of jade. The store owner, a man with no leftovers on his mind and an incredible blemish on his chin, lies on the floor. The children beg their father for crystals. They want to have bags of crystals. They have been collecting crystals. They have cat eyes and lapis lazuli. The have the crystals that are supposed to represent Jesus' blood. The owner says that, if you can pin him down and burst his blemish, you can have anything in the store for free. He says that he had wrestled in highschool and college. He had been very good at wrestling. He shows them that he has the cauliflower ears to prove it. He has memories of diuretics and carbo loads and running on the track wearing trash bags because he wanted to lose some more weight. He said he smells strange. He said he smelled like spoiled blood. He said he once bled on some concrete. As the days passed, and as the sun shone on the blood, he would go and smell it, so he knew what spoiled blood smelled like, and though he never killed a bear or ate succotash, he knew how to press a knife to his forehead and put in a deep cut. The cut required stitches, but you can't always listen to the requirements of cuts, especially when they come by your own hand. Especially when you've put it in because you've said to someone else, "If you don't stop, I will put a cut in my head."
No comments:
Post a Comment