TERRACEVENIALISHMAEL

To curve wood, we wet it, use clamps. Vested, I am here. When it got wet, then dried, it got sticky. I have a vested disinterest - that might not be what you think. I am nonplussed, looking at all those types of fish. A nurse does not have to pay anything for health care, but she has to pay for whitening her teeth. All told, it comes to eighty dollars. I was asked to "crowd" someone - something odd then happened, something I'm ashamed to write about. A man with lots of gray hair said someone died in the bathroom. For that to happen, blood drained out of the head and into the jugular vein. But that always happens. Blood drains through and around the brain and into the jugular vein. That is what people mean when they refer to the jugular. And when you go for the jugular, you are going for blood that had just been with the brain. There exist many confluences of fluids in the human body. A nurse still has to pay for teeth whitening, and she said her income is complicated because of health insurance companies. Often I am shocked by how much, how many veins, stick to the top of the skull when I remove it. Inside, I see no terraces. I see no banished people in human bodies. I would think pariahs would be banished to the insides of human bodies. Whitening teeth costs eighty dollars. "Loan" is not a verb. It is a noun. Would you loan me eighty dollars? That is impossible. May I please have a loan of eighty dollars to whiten my teeth. Ohkay. On the Deschutes river. In the tree. Waders are in a tree near the Deschutes river. This looks like a man (sexist prose) hanging in a tree. A man hanged in a tree. What happened between the nurse and the bathroom was not venial. Someone died in there, I think, the man with gray hair said. A man with gray hair said. The gray-haired man. The man, gray-haired, said. Hyphenation is tricky, but most people do not care about it. My name is hyphenated. Oh, is your name hypenated. And locking arms with someone when you walk down the street can be unexpectedly familiar. Or is seems to jaunty for the occasion. This is very triste, tres triste, right now. The pain is in the lower lobe of my right lung. I knew I had a pain in my lung, but, after I felt around in a cadaver, I knew the pain was in my right lung and on the lower lobe. I had a cadaver, and I would touch it. I would touch the part, and then I would try to decide whether or not my corresponding part hurt inside. When I spit up a substance, I see if it floats or if it sinks in water. Is it stringy? Is it thick? Is it thin? Does the water rip it? Yes, the water rips it. My friend came from England to Aix, just to visit me and check on my lungs. Venial. Terrace. Ishmael. Banished, he was ismael. A pariah. Parian. I have been saved automatically by ishmael Stevens. By a Stevens, ishmael. He is "kind of a jerk." He is "intimidated by the class." The hurt happened first. The eighty dollars. I have lost my purse. My purse cost me more than eighty dollars, but I have excellent health insurance. In college, the students are allowed to do things to the dummy. They are allowed to bury it or hold services for it. They are allowed to imagine it grow old or imagine it asleep and very attractive. They are allowed to do the suicide things to it. Look up "best way to commit suicide" on the internet, and nothing really comes back. Some websites pretend to have answer, but then you get inside them, and it's all about thinking about not doing anything. Gregory Corso wrote a lot about stealing wristwatches and wetting the bed. In the one letter I read, he also wrote a lot about masturbation - only he wrote it "masterbation." Thomas DeQuincey didn't go to a party because he was in low spirits, and he knew only his sisters would be there. Allen Tate wrote Robert Lowell a letter of introduction by way of a milkshake. When a vein shuts, it feels like an eye closing. It's is good to imagine yourself closing your mouth, even when your mouth is already closed. Or when you finish a thought, imagine yourself closing your mouth. Or a scrim, a mucousy scrim, a mucousy scrim membrane, should be something you pull on to yourself when you want to be genial, not venial, at a party. If you want to have fun at the party, then imagine the mucousy scrim is warm. If you want to have little fun or no fun or look very sophisticated, then imagine the scrim is cold. The mucous should be yours or the object of your desire's. To my one desire. This is for my one desire. This is when the monkey got tangled in my bedsheets, and I was on the ocean liner on my way to Africa. And I was so mad at that monkey, and that monkey smelled so bad. I wanted someone to get it away from me and tie it up. I never left La Touche because he was such a great short. The zagreeba was what protected us from the animals, though we had very little trust in it at first. Every time I started a sketch, a leopard would crouch near. This is for my one desire. A simple desire. A desire qualified is far more interesting than a desire. To qualify means to particularize - and particulars can become exhausting in anything that lasts long. For example, her teeth were very white because she had had them whitened. She also had poor circulation in her hands - she said that's why her fingernails were shaped in such a downturning way. And yes her hands were cold - so were mine. But my neck was supposed to be warm when she felt it - I see no way any of it, my neck, my neck, could have been otherwise. She touched my carotid. Then I let my jugular be touched. Touch my carotid, and that is all blood that has not been near my thoughts about you. Now touch my jugular, and all that blood contains thoughts about you.